Living in a wireless wonderland

Well it didn't take long (and I haven't even purchased one of the t-shirts) but I LOVE NEW YORK. And just like any other development of 'genuine feelings', this realisation was delivered by accepting the beloved's shortcomings and basking in it's glories. And bask I have (even though it's tough basking whilst it's snowing).

Eisner (my host firm) were kind enough to provide "welcoming" drinks at one of the numerous "Irish" bars around the office building on Thursday night. The powers that be clearly hadn't checked the TV schedule as this clashed with the new episode of The OC. In retaliation, I planned on going OT (off tap). After continuing the spread of my Heath Ledger/Skippy legend, I initiated my "loosest character in the southern hemisphere" program. It wasn't long until shots were being ordered and orders being shot. The South Africans bore the brunt of this twin-Aussie onslaught (as Kate joined the fray) - nicknames were quickly established and used with lethal intent. One unfortunate Cape Towner has a striking resemblance to Snake from DeGrassi Junior High - enough said. Another called Chris Cruoss wore a stripey jumper. He was soon instructed to put his jeans on backwards and start jumping or he'll miss the bus (a little 90s rap trivia for you all) whilst Kate yelled "Where's Wally?" at him. Devastation of the magnitude had not been witnessed in these parts since Hurricane Katrina tore through New Orleans.

But the nightlife here is not actually one of the reasons I finally succumbed to this unbelievable city. In fact it is almost impossible to describe exactly what it is that makes it so amazing. I was walking through Times Square (not for the first time), looked around and thought back to when other people had attempted to describe this and the rest of Manhattan to me. Despite animated attempts by many, their words couldn't paint this picture. You just don't fully appreciate until you have been here.

Then there are all the little things. I spend an inordinate amount of time browsing the aisles of the supermarket - fixated on ridiculous products but distracted by the ever present scent of cinnamon fused with cherry (which they must distribute to every shop in the US to pump through their air conditioning). I then head home to watch one of the 120+ channels on cable. Absolutely ridiculous. It would appear the 'flicking' gene has not skipped me as I am now a chronic sufferer. I fear my concentration span is suffering. What was I talking about? Oh yeah.

Some time ago US Fed Reserve Chairman Al Greenspan asserted that Australia's economy was being held back because we were lagging technologically - I can now see why. This country should be called e-USA. There are wireless access points everywhere here. I went to login to work via a 'landline' in my apartment when a little box popped up suggesting I log onto the free wireless network supplied by the building. No worries. Super fast, secure and free. Don't twist my arm. Within a matter of seconds I was downloading music, movies and surfing the net with no strings ("cords") attached. What a city.

Luckily I am still in that early dreamy lovey dovey phase of a relationship and are far from content to stay at home and just watch telly on the couch. I've continued my adventures in my surrounding neighbourhood and feel 'at home' in SE Manhattan. I savored a moccha latte at Deane & Deluca and cherish the boutique shopping strips of Soho & Noho. I've also joined the NYSC and am continuing my 'pre-season' training with a view to returning in Round 6.

Nonetheless my experiences in the supermarket, watching TV and surfing the web help explain the first 'issue' I had to overcome with NYC. The high prevalence of FB's or Front Bums. I won't explain this in too much detail except that in many instances it is hard to tell whether Americans - both men and women- are facing you or away from you if you could only see from their knees to their belly buttons. This nasty little eyesore presented itself with such regularity that Kate and I started a tally but had to abort given our inability to accurately record such astronomical figures. We've now begun to label products in supermarkets as 'FB factors' - like double choc chip peanut butter cookies double dipped in chocolate - now available in king size. The FB phenomena been deterrent enough for me to avoid any fast food, hershey product or krispy kreme donut up until know. I can only benefit from America's loss.

So it finally snowed on Saturday night. Pity I couldn't get a cab and had to walk 8 blocks crosstown with no beanie, scarf or gloves. It's currently 28 degrees F. Thats about minus 2 degrees C (32 degrees F is 0 degrees C - you divide the difference by 1.8???). I've also be introduced to the meteorological concept of 'feels like'. American weather guys use this when they should just say - 'it's bloody cold - don't go outside'. Instead they say - 'It's 32 but feels like 8'.

Well that was a massive splurge. Apologies - I'll keep the rest short and sharp. Finally, I figured out how to upload photos (see below). You can click on them for an enlarged image (if you need to make my head any bigger - personally I think it's big enough - the beanie salesman here agree).

Keep it real.